Here’s How It Works

Here’s an example of how the the traditional Court or Litigation model divorce process works (Figure a), one party will speak with their attorney who in turn will speak with the other party’s attorney who then will speak with his client and so on in a time consuming, expensive, back and forth process.

Here’s an example of how the Collaborative Divorce process works (Figure b) The Collaborative divorce is achieved via a series of four-way conferences with both parties and their attorneys present.

During the Collaborative Process when you and your spouse come up with a possible resolution to an issue, you have the opportunity to practice it to see if it will work. This is especially true of visitation/access. We try out the new schedule, see if it needs tweaking before committing it to your agreement.  If it does not work, we can come up with another plan. The only limit on your ideas, is the size of your imagination.
This contrasts sharply from the court orders which are handed down from a Judge telling you when and how you see your children. It even contrasts sharply with the settlement you and your spouse arrive at, while sitting in a conference room in the courthouse hammering out a settlement before you get called to trial. There is no chance to practice, no chance to get it right!

Before the First Four-Way Conference

1. Each Attorney will discuss with his/her Client:

• The Collaborative process and how it differs from mediation and litigation;
• The Client’s broad goals and interests and that generally a comprehensive settlement will be developed through the process
• The Participation Agreement that anchors the process;
• General expectations for behavior during the Collaborative process including during four-way conferences.

2. The Attorneys will discuss with each other:

• The time, place and planning for the first meeting;
• Important and urgent issues as presented by their clients.

3. Preliminary efforts to gather parenting and financial information may begin.

4. There should be active positive communication between parties throughout the process. The Attorneys will demonstrate and model respectful constructive behavior throughout the process.

At the First Four-Way Conference

1. The Ground Rules for the Process and Participation Agreement will be reviewed; the Participation Agreement is signed by both Clients and their Attorneys.
2. The Attorneys determine which of them will be preparing the minutes or progress notes for each four-way conference and the four participants will decide how to follow-up on tasks to be completed before the next meeting.
3. Clients will explain their reasons for choosing the Collaborative process to resolve their disputes, rather than choosing mediation, litigation or doing nothing.
4. The Attorneys will explain that there are affiliated professionals (mental health professional “coaches”, mediator “facilitators”, financial specialists and other neutral experts) available to be part of the process, if appropriate.
5. Any urgent or immediate issues will be identified and options for resolution canvassed; if possible, solutions to these immediate issues will be negotiated.
6. If there are children of the marriage, each Client will be asked to be thinking about their Parenting Plan for the next meeting;
7. Requirements for financial disclosure will be established together with a timetable for accomplishing full disclosure.
8. The agenda and homework for the next meeting will be arranged. Any temporary commitments will be documented.
9. Dates, times and places for the next two or three meetings will be arranged and contact information exchanged.

After each Four-Way Conference

1. The Attorneys will communicate as necessary with one another to discuss the dynamics of the meeting and provide constructive feed-back to one another.
2. Each Attorney will communicate with his/her Client, including meeting in person, if appropriate, to prepare for the next four-way conference.

The Second and Subsequent Four-Way Conferences – Stages to be Followed

1. First, the Clients’ broad goals for a “good separation” or a “good divorce” will be identified. Their Parenting Plans will be discussed so that their long term goals for their children can be understood.
2. Secondly, in subsequent meetings, all of the information the Clients will need to make good and sound decisions will be exchanged, including: relationship, emotional, parenting-related and financial information. The Attorneys will be able to give legal information at the table as well as advise their Clients individually.
3. Thirdly, and when it is appropriate to do so (after all of the necessary information is on the table) options for resolution of the various issues will be generated and the merits of the options will be considered in light of the goals and priorities of each of the Clients.
4. Schedules for the children and summaries of property, income and reasonable expenses may be prepared jointly at meetings, or as homework, in an effort to narrow areas of disagreement and generate options for their resolution.
5. The Attorneys will continue to be advisors to their individual Clients while the Clients take on the responsibility for making decisions during negotiations.

The Resolution

1. The final Separation and Property Settlement Agreement will be drafted by one of the Attorneys, with both Attorneys ideally working together to incorporate the intent and comprehensive agreement of the Clients. For the first such draft, if there are issues still unresolved, various options are included in the draft for further discussion. With review and revisions during a four-way meeting or series of meetings, the final agreement is negotiated and agreed upon
2. The Clients will determine whether, how and when they would like to proceed to their divorce, with full explanation of their options and the consequences of their choice by their Attorneys
3. A follow-up meeting is scheduled to address the details and make sure that all of the necessary work has been completed (deeds, Domestic Relations Orders, information about Wills and life insurance designations, etc.)